In Tiny Tarot Wisdom for Spoonies, I’ll be going through every card individually and sharing mini insights we as disabled and neurodivergent (ND) witches can take from it.
If your disability or chronic condition is something that you developed partway through life, you are intimately aware of Death. I can remember with crystal-clear clarity the first day my symptoms began in earnest. My life seems to split cleanly down the center with before disability and after disability, with that moment as the fulcrum. Now, if your disability/neurodivergence is something you were born with, you probably don’t have that clear a moment of transformation in your past. But you may remember moments when someone treated you differently, or you were expected to attempt something that just would not work for you. All of these are tiny deaths, by which I mean transformations. The version of you before this moment passes, and a new version is born.
Everyone experiences these types of transformations in different forms, of course–even joyous moments like getting married or having children are transformations. Know that grief and relief can coexist in these moments. I know I’m not the only one who felt incredible relief when I finally received a diagnosis–it had a name, which meant it had treatment options and I wasn’t alone. But it was painful, too, knowing that this was something I’d have my whole life. Both feelings are absolutely valid, and can exist simultaneously. Death reminds spoonies to grieve when you need to and celebrate when you need to. Big or small, joyful or devastating, deaths are defining moments of change. You don’t have to feel just one way about them.